My Abby, Baseball and Things Mothers-in Law Don’t Need to Know

August 9, 2022


First,

Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad! It frightens me to think you were married at 18. I can’t imagine the trials and tribulations of being forced to grow up so quickly.


Happy Birthday Dad! Can’t believe its been 16 years since you’ve been gone. A couple updates- I still eat my food waaay too fast, but my nights of uninterrupted sleep have ceased and I spend many a night staring at the ceiling, as you foretold.

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Abby-


We’ve now reached the stage where we are hoping Abby can make it to the next season. She loves autumn and the cool days would be welcomed.


During her bout with vestibular disease ( I had never heard of it before either), I wanted nothing more than her to be able to give one last dash and fall over. Endless circling, head droops, diapers- she deserves a more heroic final chapter.


Actually she has recovered quite well, but for four days last week she was up practically all day and night walking, panting, falling, shitting, peeing, etc. For a dog that normally sleeps 18 hours/day, that had to be shock to her system. Three nights in a row, out on the streets from 1am till morning. Letting her walk, pee, poo, throw up. It was all going on. One blessing was the weather had cooled off and the temps at night were bearable.


Once things righted themselves a bit, she slept for days so soundly I was getting jealous. Now she can manage walking straight. Head is still tilted and might stay that way. Anyway, I hope she can walk on ochiba (fallen leaves) this fall, her favorite hobby other than eating.

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Matsuo Basho, Japanese poet (1644-1694)


I labor without results, am worn of spirit, and wrinkled of brow.






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Strat ’77 (after week 7)


AL East AL West

Mil 13-5 KC 13-5

NY 12-6 Chi 11-7

Bost 10-8 Tex 10-8

Clev 10-8 Min 7-11

Balt 10-8 Cal 6-12

Det 8-10 Sea 6-12

Tor 6-12 Oak 5-13


NL East NL West

Chi 15-3 LA 14-4

NY 11-7 Cin 8-10

StL 11-7 SD 6-12

Mon 10-8 SF 6-12

Phil 10-8 Hou 5-13

Pitt 9-9 Atl 3-15


AL Leaders

Doubles Triples

DeCinces 8 Brohamer 4

Garr 8 Brett 3

Yount 8 Carew 3


HR RBI Avg.

Gamble 7 Gamble 22 Garr .392

Thompson 7


NL Leaders

Doubles Triples

Dawson 10 Brock 5


HR

Smith 9 RBI Avg.

Valentine 9 Smith 26 Smith .443

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Under the category of Information Mothers-in-law Don’t Need.


It all came out after Abby had an accident on me when I picked her up, completely forgetting she hadn’t pooed yet that day. My fault, Abby. Anyway, as I screamed for my wife to come help me, get the poop, etc. my mother-in-law paced, waiting for instructions from her daughter, the de facto governing body of the situation. Once the turd had been disengaged from me and I was able to move, I was immediately exhorted to remove my shorts by my wife and her mother. Now, her mother had been given instructions to take the aforesaid poo outside, but she continued berating me to take my shorts off. And I wanted to take my shorts off, BUT SHE WOULDN’T LEAVE. See, I had nothing on under my shorts and no matter how liberal I’ve become regarding naked bodies, I wasn’t going to do that.


Finally, I told both of them that I didn’t have anything on under the shorts. My wife shrugged. My mother-in-law completely forgot she was holding poo that needed to be removed from the premises. Now her mind was in lockdown on the revelation of the new information. No underwear? Her son-in-law didn’t wear underwear? WTF? Naturally, with her holding the poo, we started a spirited discussion on the current state of my dress, the ramifications of not wearing underwear, and just what kind of barbarian I am exactly. If only she had followed instructions to go outside to get rid of the poo……

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